Las Vegas. The mecca of opulence. Bachelor and bachelorette parties the world over have discovered the magic of the city, bathed in light and semi-free drinks as long as you're pulling that lever on the slots. And the Strip is unlike anything else. Rows and rows of billion dollar buildings, built by some of the biggest companies in the world that are purpose built to take your money more efficiently than anything in modern history outside of Apple's App Store. It has everything that could cater to everyone. Love shopping? There's a literal mile long underground shopping mall. Want some good food? Maybe walk past Guy Fieri's flagship Flavortown and go somewhere else. Want a show? Check out Criss Angel's magic show or maybe Cher performing her residency. Or Carrot Top, if you're the kind of person that wants to get rid of their money as quickly as possible without having a great time. One more thing to add to that list: the world-famous Bellagio dancing fountains. But did you know you can control them?
The Bellagio
The Bellagio Resort and Casino is iconic. One of the more elegant buildings on the Vegas strip, its Italian-style architecture is in stark contrast to the hard lines of its neighbor, Caesar's Palace. It also features a large body of water at the front of the hotel facing the strip that looks fairly unassuming for most of the day. However, this houses the famous fountains that are choreographed to different music, both new and old, and provides a family-friendly show that is one of the only free attractions in Vegas. But what if I told you that you could take this from "free" to "prohibitively expensive?" Hear me out.
Inside each hotel worth its salt in Vegas is a nightclub, complete with dancing, dancers and bottle service. But to stand out, each one needs a gimmick. Hyde Bellagio, the hotel's resident night club, has the advantage of a built in gimmick: controlling the fountains. That's right. For the low, low price of only $250,000, you get a full night of clubbing that ends in you controlling the fountains for the thousands walking the Strip. Let's get into it.
Bottle Service, Thy Name Is Vegas
Let's say you and the fellas had a crazy dinner. Top of the Eiffel Tower at "Paris?" Maybe you got your fill of donkey sauce over in Flavortown. What next? You head back to home base, maybe crush an $11 water from your minibar and head down to Hyde for the rest of the night. Step 1: Bust the cash out because it ain't free. The cover charge runs between $20 and $70 just to get in. Now that you've successfully had your first charge of the night, it's on to grabbing a table for some bottle service.
I hope you kept your credit card out. Bottle service starts at $550 at Hyde. Want a view of the fountains on the large patio? That'll run you about $3,000. But you're balling baby! You're not interested in the normal people bottle service with some sparklers and maybe a bottle of lukewarm Svedka. You're in it to win it and you want that big red button. In that case, you've already taken care of the bill, which is again, a cool $250,000. That'll cover your cover charge and bottle service, and what a bottle it is:
That's a Midas Ace of Spades, courtesy of your buddy "Hov" Jay-Z himself. The bottle contains 40 standard bottles of champagne, meaning you get about 160 glasses of champagne per bottle. These run retail anywhere from $130,000 to $250,000, according to CNBC. Hope you brought some buddies to split it with.
So now it's time. Time to hit the button. In typical Vegas fashion, the button is red, but the casing is solid gold baby. But you have one more decision to make: what song are you going to select for the fountains to dance to? The list provided contains anything from Elvis to Bruno Mars, and it's just up to you to pick. Once you hit it, you can officially claim yourself as the King of Vegas, the Alpha of the Strip.
Is It Worth It?
Out of everything I have ever covered on this site, this is by far the dumbest thing I have ever seen. Why? There's 0 point to it. The fountains are running anyway, with or without you. It doesn't matter what song you pick, or if you drink the whole magnum bottle of Ace of Spades. Those things are running because it's part of the allure of the Strip. It's not like the Bellagio is shutting down the fountains because uh-oh, someone didn't sign up for the $250,000 bottle service tonight. Shut them down! Screw those kids that wanted to see it. Sorry fellas, you're SOL. This is the WORST use of money I have ever seen, and I wrote about the American Express Centurion card.
